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warket

25/02/2008
20:54:50
Titel: Bladzijde dertien



ik heb mijn kinderen niet gemaakt
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Het was op een vrijdag dat hij langs de Achterstraat ging. Het waaide krachtig en de regen sloeg in zijn gezicht. Ze deed voorzichtig de voordeur open. Je kon nauwelijks zien of het zij of haar dochter was.
Ik heb iets beschreven op een vod papier, zei hij.
Kom binnen.
Ik blijf niet lang.
Ga zitten en drink iets...koffie of zo?
Heb je niets anders voor het einde van een laatste werkdag in de week?
Eet je straks mee?
Neen, ik blijf niet lang.
Haar oudste dochter vertrekt zaterdagavond naar zuid Afrika en de jongste zegt dat ze b en s nog eens wil terug zien. Het is al zolang geleden. Hij stelt voor om iets bij hem te komen eten.
Ze drinken een scheut Cubaanse rum en sterke koffie. De wind jaagt de regen tegen het vensterglas. Er zit iets zangerigs in, de wind, de regen en die drie vrouwen in dit huis aan de Achterstraat. Terwijl hij een sigaret draait gaat ze in de keuken het eten verwarmen.
Eet je echt niet mee?
Een proevertje en dan ben ik weg.
Ontkurk dan een fles wijn. Ik breng glazen.
Kom ik niet ongelegen?
Neen. Voor een keer dat je komt. Ik heb vanavond niks anders te doen.
Hij belt L om te zeggen dat hij hier blijft.
Ik heb geen telefoon. Neem de gsm maar trek het niet te lang, het is duur.
Waarom eet je geen pasta bij de saus?
Omdat ik geen honger heb maar de saus lekker vind.
Ze eten zwijgzaam. Hij eet zonder gebit. Er ontbreken twee snijtanden . Al drie weken. Hij heeft geen voltandige mond nodig om hier binnen te komen. Ze kennen elkaar vijfendertig jaar. Zij was pas vijftien en de beste vriendin van zijn beste vriend. Daarna heeft hij L leren kennen. En nu zit zij hier een nieuw leven op te bouwen. Elkaar vijftien jaar uit het oog verloren, en nu eet hij op een winderige regenachtige vrijdagvooravond tomatensaus met een stuk brood aan tafel bij haar met haar twee dochters. Even maar. Ik blijf niet lang.
Trek je nog een fles wijn af?
Waar is de aftrekker?
Voor uw neus!
Wat vind je van de muziek? Het is Ierse muziek.
Zou je niet zeggen.
Heeft het gesmaakt?
Heerlijk.
Nog een tas koffie?
Ja, en een scheut rum. Drink er ook een. En we roken een sigaret na het eten.
Het regent niet meer. De wind is ook gaan liggen. Het weer is in slaap gevallen. Misschien is het maar een indruk. Loomheid in de oren. Hoor je mij K?
Ik heb mijn hoorapparaten aan en hou op met me K te noemen. Je weet dat ik daar een hekel aan heb.
Nog een koffie?
Neen. Nog een scheut Cubaanse rum.
K, we worden zat.
Hou op met me K te noemen!
Ik vind die naam mooi. Je voorouders waren wellicht Kelten.
Onze voorouders waren gelijk. Geloof jij in de schepping?
Hou op met dat gefilosofeer. Dan begin je te fluisteren. Ik hoor je liever schreeuwen. Knor desnoods als een varken maar filosofeer niet tegen mij.
Laten we dansen.
Op afstand dan. Ik wil niet dat je me aanraakt. Laten we eerst nog iets drinken.
En dan dansen we zoals indianen.
De hond blaft. Hij-zij blaft. De kat, zo verwend dat monster! Ze pist in de bloembakken. Echt, echt waar. Het is woestijnachtig.
Ik ga plassen.
Ge komt nog terug?
Wil jij ondertussen nog een sigaret voor me rollen?
Er zat iets damesachtig in haar stap. Ze kwam terug en zei: ik heb zin om te wenen.
Ween maar. Je hoeft je voor mij niet te schamen. Het is maar een omgekeerde lach. Het zal goed doen.
Ze zaten aan tafel. Ze weende alsof het een eeuwigheid geleden was.
Hij kuste haar hand als een dame en ze deden een belofte aan de eeuwigheid. Zolang de slaap hen niet aanraakt zullen ze niet slapen gaan.
Later, veel later in de ochtend heeft ze in de zetel een deken over hem gelegd en heeft ze hem onzichtbaar een kus gegeven. Hij had het gevoeld in zijn slaap.
Daarna is hij te weten gekomen dat een vriend van hem diezelfde avond stierf.

de stoet was zwart met wit van bloemen
gekist, bewierookt en besprenkeld
turkoois blauw achter grijze wolken
dat zat jij die laatste dagen te bekijken

ik hoor de snaren bespelen
de klanken zijn mij bekend van vele jaren
ik zal haar troosten met mijn woorden
ook al heb ik maar een flierefluiterspen


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